Inner Soul Thoughts
What Makes You Happy?
Summer 2014
“Don't cry because it's over, smile because it
happened.” ~ Dr. Seuss
It’s summer. Again. As I have said many times, it is not my favorite season. But that’s okay. I am still happy to have sunny, clear blue skies and the free time to enjoy it, despite the heat and humidity. Having said that, I have to wonder what makes people happy? Is it a beautiful, sunny day? A new job? New car? A lottery windfall? Losing weight? Looking younger? A baby? A new relationship? We read the well-known phrase “Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness" in the Declaration of Independence and have to question, how exactly do we pursue happiness?
How many of you have ever said “If I only had more money, I’d be happy” or “When I finally get a promotion, I will be happy”? These wishes are in line with the pursuit of happiness, the thought that happiness is somewhere out there and we just have to find it. Surprisingly, all of these external wishes and desires will not make you any happier…in the long term. What the most current research shows is that we create our happiness. We don’t find it out there somewhere.
Is wishing for more money or a relationship a waste of time? No. Not exactly. Actually, money or a relationship will make you happy….for the moment. The reality is that you will be a little happy for a little while. Then, the happiness high wears off and you are back to wishing for the next happiness fix. Researchers have found that we are conditioned to pursue happiness in all the wrong ways. We anticipate being happier than we end up being.
So, what is the key to happiness? First, it is important to understand that people enjoy their new found levels of happiness and then return to a set-point that they have inherited. Yes, inherited. We are all born with a happiness set-point to which we return after a high point of happiness. Some of us inherit a happier set-point than others. Our set-point dictates how happy we will tend to be over the course of our lifetime. Our set-point is about 50% of our total happiness.
What is surprising about the current research on happiness is that only 10% of our happiness is influenced by our environment. Our situations and life circumstances- whether we are married or single, rich or poor, pretty or plain- have a negligible affect on our happiness.
The good news in all of this is that the 40% that is left is within our control to make ourselves happy. How we think and what we do in our lives day to day informs that 40%. We make ourselves more or less happy by our outlook and choices. Think about that. WE choose happiness.
What are some of the characteristics of happy people? How do they think and what kinds of behaviors and actions do they choose? Happy people experience the distress and unhappiness that the rest of us do. They just bounce back because of their coping skills and happiness habits. According to the studies done on happiness, here are some of those habits.
Happier people:
- Express gratitude for what they have
- Spend time with friends and family
- Are optimistic when thinking about the future
- Offer help to others
- Set and commit to goals and ambitions that inform their lives
- Are resilient in the face of crises and challenges, showing good coping skills and a positive outlook
- Exercise on a regular basis; at least weekly, at most daily
- Live in the present moment as much as possible and enjoy simple pleasures
Martin Seligman, a professor at the University of Pennsylvania, did a study where he taught a group of severely depressed people a happiness enhancing strategy. These people were severely depressed, having difficulty even getting out of bed every morning. They were instructed to go online to a website and do an exercise which involved remembering and writing down three good things that happened to them each day. For example, if a friend called to check in or a neighbor dropped off a meal they were instructed to write it down. He discovered that within 15 days the participant’s depression lifted from “severely depressed” to “mildly to moderately depressed”. Apparently, 94% of them experienced relief. This is awesome news. This is one example of the research that has been done that shows we can influence our level of happiness by implementing strategies that work.
Here are some ideas to amp up your happiness from psychologist Sonja Lyubomirsky, a Stanford University Ph.D., who is currently a professor at the University of California. The majority of her research career has been devoted to studying human happiness.
- Choose a time daily to contemplate your blessings. Reflect on why you are grateful and how your life has been enriched.
- Identify one thing each day that you normally would take for granted and acknowledge it.
- Acknowledge one ungrateful thought each day and substitute a grateful thought. For example, “My husband forgot to pick up milk” can be dumped for “My husband is always there for me when I need support”.
- Enlist a gratitude partner from you family or friends and share your list of blessings with them. They can encourage or motivate you when you forget or lose energy.
- Introduce a visitor to things, places, and people that you love. This will help your perspective stay fresh by seeing things through someone else’s eyes.
- Express your gratitude directly to someone who has touched your life through a letter, a phone call, or a face-to-face encounter.
Lyubomirsky’s research shows that keeping our strategies fresh is key to our success. Over-practicing one technique can become stale and boring so mixing it up a little is very important. We may choose to contemplate a positive event after a difficult situation but then write in our journal at another time during the week. Some weeks, we may choose to speak to a gratitude buddy and write a letter or make a phone call expressing gratitude other weeks. The key to our happiness practice is to be consistent and keep it varied.
Let’s take some time this summer to experiment with our happiness. Start a gratitude journal. You don’t have to write in it everyday. Do what fits your lifestyle be it daily, weekly, or 2-3 times a week. Choose a time of the day that you have a few minutes and write down events, situations, or people that enhanced your sense of gratitude. Recognize your talents, your positive experiences, opportunities that have presented or anything else, no matter how small or seemingly insignificant.
Enjoy the process and happy summer!
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The Spirit of Spring!
Behold, my friends, the spring is come; the earth has gladly received the embraces of the sun, and we shall soon see the results of their love!
~Sitting Bull
So, here we are in March, wandering into spring 2014. I say wandering because winter doesn’t seem to want to lessen its grip on the present moment. But, come it will with its healing rains and warming breezes. I can’t help but marvel at the beauty of the seasons as they come and go. They carry us through and make us part of an enchanting cycle of change, yet soothe us with their familiar aspects.
Spring connects us to a sense of renewal, rebirth, cleansing, and growth. From the most delicate sprout comes the reminder of the fragility of life. That tiny sprout tells us that what is unseen resurfaces, and that seemingly barren soil is teaming with life. Sometimes, we need a reminder of that very fact. When we feel empty or disconnected we can think of that unseen force that animates everything including ourselves. We need a boost, a push to re-connect with the oneness of being. What are we but parts of a larger whole, cycling in and out of energetic trends?
From the perspective of numerology, March not only brings us spring, but also the “1” energy of new beginnings and opportunity. Since this is a “7” year, that “1” energy comes into play in the month of March, pushing us to seize the opportunity to renew our spiritual connection and cleanse our body, mind, and soul.
Here are some ideas to do just that:
Body-
1) Do a cleanse. There are many ways to cleanse the body. Eating
greens and veggie broth one day a week and/or adding lemon
water to your daily fluid intake instead of sweet drinks and juices
are two ways to lightly cleanse the body.
2) Choose healthier foods. Add more fruits and vegetables to your
snacks and meals. Practice meatless Mondays or eliminate meat
on all but three days a week. Eating fewer dense foods like meats
and cheese and adding more water based foods like fruits and
vegetables, lightens the load on the body's digestive tract.
3) Add some exercise to your daily routine, even if it is parking your
car further away and walking to your destination or marching in
place while watching TV.
4) Get enough sleep so your energy level can sustain you throughout
the day, and your body can heal itself.
Mind-
1) Relax 5 minutes a day by focusing on your breath going in and out,
or on a word as you exhale like “love”, “peace”, or whatever is
meaningful to you.
2) Change your thoughts by finding the positive in any given moment
or situation and focus on that for a few minutes instead of the
negative.
3) Ban gossip. Choose one day a week and commit to only positive
talk.
4) Re-examine your opinion on a person, topic, or event. List the
positives if you have been resistant and consider what you may not
be seeing that is good.
Soul-
1) Take your relaxation practice above to the next level. Sit and focus
on your breath for 5-10 minutes saying “So” on the inhalation and
“Hum” on the exhalation. Allow yourself to manage distractions by
acknowledging them and then returning to the practice of “SO”/
“HUM”.
2) Take a yoga class.
3) Practice Tai Chi in a class or DVD
4) Every morning ask for guidance for the day from your spirit
guides, God, or your higher self to make your best choices for a
healthy body/mind/spirit.
Take this renewal and growth into the months that follow. April will bring quiet universal energy and a focus on partnership with others and the Divine. May will be more energetic, encouraging your creativity and self-expression. June carries a universal energy of grounding and checking in on your health. July brings the universal influence of needing some freedom from responsibility, possibly unexpected change, and maybe even some travel.
The universe influences our personal energy trends so look out for these energy cycles in the months to come. Enjoy yourself!
Renew, recharge, and happy spring!
*******************************************************************
Open to Spirit!
2014
He who lives in harmony with himself, lives in harmony with the world.
~Marcus Aurelius
In this new year, it is time for a journey inward. Winter 2014 came in like a lion, bringing a snowy landscape and hollow winds. Yet in this seemingly barren space of winter, lies the invisible. Winter is pregnant with possibilities. What appears dead, holds space for regeneration. And so it goes with spirit. It is always there. Invisible, yet carrying the infinite potential for transformation and growth. So, 2014 brings the energy of spirit. It carries the "7" energy, which is a quiet, reflective energy. It follows the path of spiritual knowing and brings the universal energy into a time of questioning, seeking, and opening to truth. This vibration influences everyone and everything in the universe, even if your personal year is a different energy.
How can we work with this truth seeking, spiritual energy?
1) Take time to meditate daily. Meditation and prayer bring us into a
state of timelessness. It allows our mind to quiet so we can experience
the present moment.
2) During meditation, visualize your heart opening. Picture a green
glow emanating from your heart. Feel open to trusting in a power
bigger than yourself.
3) Ask the universe, God, or higher being to protect you in your
spiritual growth. Ask for guidance through the white light of Christ
consciousness. Visualize yourself in a cocoon of white light.
4) Breathe and remind yourself throughout the day that you trust in the
process of your spiritual awakening and connection.
Craft a mantra that can be a reminder such as
-"Today and everyday, I am open to receive spiritual guidance from my highest guides"
-"I breathe in and open my heart to higher guidance"
-"I trust my intuition"
and say it often throughout the day.
Take time to connect with others and be an example of spiritual grounding. Structure yourself into a routine, even if it is just 5 minutes every morning and several one minute spirit breaks throughout the day for a few peaceful breaths as you repeat your mantras. Allow your peaceful, opening presence to affect those around you.
Trust the process!
*******************************************************************
2014
He who lives in harmony with himself, lives in harmony with the world.
~Marcus Aurelius
In this new year, it is time for a journey inward. Winter 2014 came in like a lion, bringing a snowy landscape and hollow winds. Yet in this seemingly barren space of winter, lies the invisible. Winter is pregnant with possibilities. What appears dead, holds space for regeneration. And so it goes with spirit. It is always there. Invisible, yet carrying the infinite potential for transformation and growth. So, 2014 brings the energy of spirit. It carries the "7" energy, which is a quiet, reflective energy. It follows the path of spiritual knowing and brings the universal energy into a time of questioning, seeking, and opening to truth. This vibration influences everyone and everything in the universe, even if your personal year is a different energy.
How can we work with this truth seeking, spiritual energy?
1) Take time to meditate daily. Meditation and prayer bring us into a
state of timelessness. It allows our mind to quiet so we can experience
the present moment.
2) During meditation, visualize your heart opening. Picture a green
glow emanating from your heart. Feel open to trusting in a power
bigger than yourself.
3) Ask the universe, God, or higher being to protect you in your
spiritual growth. Ask for guidance through the white light of Christ
consciousness. Visualize yourself in a cocoon of white light.
4) Breathe and remind yourself throughout the day that you trust in the
process of your spiritual awakening and connection.
Craft a mantra that can be a reminder such as
-"Today and everyday, I am open to receive spiritual guidance from my highest guides"
-"I breathe in and open my heart to higher guidance"
-"I trust my intuition"
and say it often throughout the day.
Take time to connect with others and be an example of spiritual grounding. Structure yourself into a routine, even if it is just 5 minutes every morning and several one minute spirit breaks throughout the day for a few peaceful breaths as you repeat your mantras. Allow your peaceful, opening presence to affect those around you.
Trust the process!
*******************************************************************
Bring in the light!
Summer 2013
God is day and night, winter and summer, war and peace, surfeit and hunger. ~Heraclitus
When I think of summer, images of hot, humid, sunny days come to mind. Admittedly not my favorite season, I deal with summer from a spiritual perspective. Bringing spirit to these images opens me up to a more tolerant view of the uncomfortable, humid days ahead.
So, how is summer a spiritual event? The cycling of the seasons parallels the concept of “lifetimes” starting with spring (childhood), summer (adulthood), fall (mature age), and winter (old age/death). Summer represents adulthood which is a time of responsibility, strength, and health. It is a time in the life cycle where we grow into who we are, creating family, working, and being productive members of society; a time when we participate fully in our lives and are most active.
In summer, the sun rises and warms the earth. Everything around us grows and has a lush fullness. The sun is the star of summer. The days are long and the nights are short. Rising early and setting late, the sun offers us the life giving energy that informs everything around us, including our energy level. The sun energizes and nourishes us. It brings abundant life. Beyond this, like summer itself, the sun also represents the stages of a lifetime. The sun rises (birth), it peaks at noon (adulthood), sets (old age), and disappears over the horizon (death). Reincarnation equates the setting of the sun beneath the horizon with death, the bridge between different lives, where our consciousness can heal and integrate learning from its earthly journey. Ancient cultures worshipped the sun for all of these reasons. They intuited that we are energetic beings in an amazing vessel of vibrating cells; souls experiencing the physical plane of existence.
The summer brings in the light and what are we but light? So, in summer, we may feel most alive and energetic. We vacation, enjoy long days, and generally absorb the positive energy of the sun. Some of the best ways to absorb that light is to spend time outdoors and in nature. Take long walks around town or at the beach. Sit out on the porch or in the yard. Swim at the local pool or ocean.
An exercise you can do in the summer and year ‘round to absorb the light, is to breathe deeply. Energy follows the breath. So, when you wake up in the morning, stand tall, raise your arms up above your head in a “Y” position, face a window where the sun comes in, and deeply breathe. Allow your diaphragm to move as you deepen the breath, moving the belly as the lungs fill. Allow the breath to fill your body. Visualize the energy not only following the breath but also entering the crown of your head following a line through your feet into the earth. Let the energy expand through your body, pushing out any stress, filling you with light. After 6-8 breaths travelling through your body in a line of grounding energy from head to feet, release your arms down to your sides on an exhalation. Bring your hands together in front of your heart, and remind yourself of your many blessings. Now, you are ready to start the day. Enjoy the light of summer!
*******************************************************************
Summer 2013
God is day and night, winter and summer, war and peace, surfeit and hunger. ~Heraclitus
When I think of summer, images of hot, humid, sunny days come to mind. Admittedly not my favorite season, I deal with summer from a spiritual perspective. Bringing spirit to these images opens me up to a more tolerant view of the uncomfortable, humid days ahead.
So, how is summer a spiritual event? The cycling of the seasons parallels the concept of “lifetimes” starting with spring (childhood), summer (adulthood), fall (mature age), and winter (old age/death). Summer represents adulthood which is a time of responsibility, strength, and health. It is a time in the life cycle where we grow into who we are, creating family, working, and being productive members of society; a time when we participate fully in our lives and are most active.
In summer, the sun rises and warms the earth. Everything around us grows and has a lush fullness. The sun is the star of summer. The days are long and the nights are short. Rising early and setting late, the sun offers us the life giving energy that informs everything around us, including our energy level. The sun energizes and nourishes us. It brings abundant life. Beyond this, like summer itself, the sun also represents the stages of a lifetime. The sun rises (birth), it peaks at noon (adulthood), sets (old age), and disappears over the horizon (death). Reincarnation equates the setting of the sun beneath the horizon with death, the bridge between different lives, where our consciousness can heal and integrate learning from its earthly journey. Ancient cultures worshipped the sun for all of these reasons. They intuited that we are energetic beings in an amazing vessel of vibrating cells; souls experiencing the physical plane of existence.
The summer brings in the light and what are we but light? So, in summer, we may feel most alive and energetic. We vacation, enjoy long days, and generally absorb the positive energy of the sun. Some of the best ways to absorb that light is to spend time outdoors and in nature. Take long walks around town or at the beach. Sit out on the porch or in the yard. Swim at the local pool or ocean.
An exercise you can do in the summer and year ‘round to absorb the light, is to breathe deeply. Energy follows the breath. So, when you wake up in the morning, stand tall, raise your arms up above your head in a “Y” position, face a window where the sun comes in, and deeply breathe. Allow your diaphragm to move as you deepen the breath, moving the belly as the lungs fill. Allow the breath to fill your body. Visualize the energy not only following the breath but also entering the crown of your head following a line through your feet into the earth. Let the energy expand through your body, pushing out any stress, filling you with light. After 6-8 breaths travelling through your body in a line of grounding energy from head to feet, release your arms down to your sides on an exhalation. Bring your hands together in front of your heart, and remind yourself of your many blessings. Now, you are ready to start the day. Enjoy the light of summer!
*******************************************************************
The present is all there is, right?
Spring 2013
"We have more possibilities available in each moment than we realize." ~Thich Nhat Hanh
So, spring is upon us. Soon, the winds will calm and the sun will shine. The cold winter will finally give birth to the unseen beauty of the spring and summer seasons. But, how many of us waited for the cool breezes of fall while suffering summer's humidity or dreamed of the warmth of spring as we shoveled the last bit of snow from our walks?
Our thoughts take many twists and turns. Sometimes, we are stuck ruminating in the past. We think about what might have been, what we should have said, why we didn’t choose something else; the list is endless. We have no power over what “was”, yet we spend so much time there, going over the possibilities that no longer exist. We give up our power and waste our energy. Other times, we worry about the future. We are stuck in our heads exploring a long list of worries as anxiety fills our body-mind. We perseverate over the “what ifs” until we are exhausted and drained of our vitality. In these moments, we dream the future and contemplate the past, losing ourselves in the process.
Life is fluid. Before the structure of time, we lived by the rising and setting sun. We were connected in a deeper way to each moment and we experienced life in “real time”. In modern times, we live within the artificial structure of time, our thoughts bouncing back and forth from today to tomorrow in the blink of an eye. Each thought carries energy and often gives rise to emotion. When our thoughts are undirected, our energy and emotions are undirected. There is a “disconnect” within us and we become ungrounded.
So, how do we develop health, vitality, and personal power? How do we become grounded? We do so by being in the “present” moment. The present moment is the most under-rated, least appreciated place, yet it is the most valuable. The present moment is where awareness lives. It is where our journey lies. Living in the present moment helps us to develop the awareness that brings us peace, love, and healing. It’s all we have. When we live in the present, experiencing each moment, we become part of the life we are living. We participate fully. We learn gratitude. We become mindful. This grounds us.
The Buddhist monk, Thich Nhat Hanh, teaches mindfulness. He explores being in the present moment through this poem:
Breathing in, I calm my body.
Breathing out, I smile.
Dwelling in the present moment
I know this is a wonderful moment.
He reminds us that the simple act of focusing on our breath as it goes in and out, brings our awareness to the present. The simple act of smiling brings us into the present as well, bringing peace and equanimity to our body-mind. He teaches us that chasing happiness or fulfillment in the better job, newer car, or next relationship, is by-passing the present moment. If we can’t find peace in the present moment, it will always be fleeting and unattainable.
So, in the spirit of being present, be in every moment whether it is washing dishes, driving to work, brushing your teeth, or cooking dinner. Breathe into the moment, focus on what you are doing, and gently bring your attention back if distracted. Take 5 minutes each day to sit and breathe mindfully, directing the attention to the breath as it travels in and out. This is the beginning of being present. It is the beginning of “being”. As Deepak Chopra says, “You are a human being, not a human doing”. And that, is something to be mindful of every day.
Smile, breathe and go slowly. ~Thich Nhat Hanh
******************************************************************
Spring 2013
"We have more possibilities available in each moment than we realize." ~Thich Nhat Hanh
So, spring is upon us. Soon, the winds will calm and the sun will shine. The cold winter will finally give birth to the unseen beauty of the spring and summer seasons. But, how many of us waited for the cool breezes of fall while suffering summer's humidity or dreamed of the warmth of spring as we shoveled the last bit of snow from our walks?
Our thoughts take many twists and turns. Sometimes, we are stuck ruminating in the past. We think about what might have been, what we should have said, why we didn’t choose something else; the list is endless. We have no power over what “was”, yet we spend so much time there, going over the possibilities that no longer exist. We give up our power and waste our energy. Other times, we worry about the future. We are stuck in our heads exploring a long list of worries as anxiety fills our body-mind. We perseverate over the “what ifs” until we are exhausted and drained of our vitality. In these moments, we dream the future and contemplate the past, losing ourselves in the process.
Life is fluid. Before the structure of time, we lived by the rising and setting sun. We were connected in a deeper way to each moment and we experienced life in “real time”. In modern times, we live within the artificial structure of time, our thoughts bouncing back and forth from today to tomorrow in the blink of an eye. Each thought carries energy and often gives rise to emotion. When our thoughts are undirected, our energy and emotions are undirected. There is a “disconnect” within us and we become ungrounded.
So, how do we develop health, vitality, and personal power? How do we become grounded? We do so by being in the “present” moment. The present moment is the most under-rated, least appreciated place, yet it is the most valuable. The present moment is where awareness lives. It is where our journey lies. Living in the present moment helps us to develop the awareness that brings us peace, love, and healing. It’s all we have. When we live in the present, experiencing each moment, we become part of the life we are living. We participate fully. We learn gratitude. We become mindful. This grounds us.
The Buddhist monk, Thich Nhat Hanh, teaches mindfulness. He explores being in the present moment through this poem:
Breathing in, I calm my body.
Breathing out, I smile.
Dwelling in the present moment
I know this is a wonderful moment.
He reminds us that the simple act of focusing on our breath as it goes in and out, brings our awareness to the present. The simple act of smiling brings us into the present as well, bringing peace and equanimity to our body-mind. He teaches us that chasing happiness or fulfillment in the better job, newer car, or next relationship, is by-passing the present moment. If we can’t find peace in the present moment, it will always be fleeting and unattainable.
So, in the spirit of being present, be in every moment whether it is washing dishes, driving to work, brushing your teeth, or cooking dinner. Breathe into the moment, focus on what you are doing, and gently bring your attention back if distracted. Take 5 minutes each day to sit and breathe mindfully, directing the attention to the breath as it travels in and out. This is the beginning of being present. It is the beginning of “being”. As Deepak Chopra says, “You are a human being, not a human doing”. And that, is something to be mindful of every day.
Smile, breathe and go slowly. ~Thich Nhat Hanh
******************************************************************
What’s love got to do with it?
Winter 2013
"We are People who need to love, because Love is the soul's life. Love is simply creation's greatest joy." ~Hafiz of Persia
In contemplating love, we can ask, what does love have to do with anything? Some would say everything. And, I would agree. Love is the foundation of all things. It is the basis of a healthy, fulfilling existence. It is the very foundation of our being. I am not talking about romantic “hearts and flowers” love, or familial love but a deeper much broader love. This “Love” informs every type of love we can think of, sustaining and transforming it.
When do we first meet love? The moment we look into our mother’s eyes. This is the moment we begin our journey. In the reflective pools of that first encounter, we begin to meet ourselves in translation. We learn to love ourselves in accordance with an interpretation of ourselves through another. It is the beginning of the exhaustive search for true love, the love we imagine we will find in another’s eyes. In that moment, the journey to our Self begins.
Over a lifetime, we experience love in many more forms. We love our families and develop an identity based on what we are exposed to like traditions, religion, role-models, and our environment. As we extend out into the world, we experience love for friends, and eventually we experience romantic love. Most often, all of these facets of love are incomplete because they are informed by what we have been told, taught, or experienced through our early encounters. We are still defining love by how well we satisfy our expectations through another. Sometimes, we suspend any expectations as we try to fulfill someone else’s expectations. The search may lead us through multiple relationships, marriages, outgrown friendships, and loneliness. It is a long road. And for some of us it is longer than others as we are fixed in a material world of driving emotion. Sometimes, it becomes a painful experience as what was once hopeful and promising becomes a perceived dead-end. As sad as these realizations are, they are actually harbingers of our potential. In each seemingly failed experience, is a seed of possibility. Those seeds contain the lessons that propel us to the truth. Eventually, the very process of searching for love, leads us back home to finding our selves.
At the center of our being lies true Love, the Love that is the foundation of everything, yet exists as nothing. As our hearts mature and we realize that Love is not measureable by the wants and dislikes that form our image of love, and realize it cannot live in the same space as fear and anxiety, we begin to allow true Love into our lives. We begin to suspend the illusion of reality that we have tenaciously held on to that is rooted in our history. Once we are able to remove the filter through which we have judged all of our experiences, we make room for Love. We stop “shoulding” on ourselves and others. We stop trying to control and define everyone and everything with labels based in pre-conceived historically limiting notions. We observe. We listen. We reconcile. We forgive. We leave our baggage at cliffs edge and we choose a different road home.
Namaste is a beautiful Sanskrit word that is used as a greeting in India. The breakdown Namah + te literally means “I bow to you”. But this word has a deep spiritual significance that holds Love as its seed. In its deeper meaning, it reveals that the life force, divinity, or light in me recognizes the light in you. That simple word honors the undifferentiated force of divine light that resides within us, the “oneness” of spirit. Each of us is part of a bigger presence. We each carry the light of Love, the Self that connects to God. When we look into another’s eyes and see this light, we see Love. When what we do is generous in spirit and honors ourselves and others, we feel Love. When what we say is kind and considerate toward ourselves and others, we hear Love. When we make these compassionate choices, we touch Love. When all of our choices are rooted in a spirit of non-harming, we are Love.
Naturally, discovering true Love is a process which by its very nature may involve three steps forward and one step back until it is fully revealed. The key to this journey toward Love is paying attention and making conscious choices. Love is limitless. Love is unconditional. Love has no boundaries. Love is conscious and comes from awareness.
And, what is awareness? We’ll leave that for another Inner-Soul contemplation….
*******************************************************************
Winter 2013
"We are People who need to love, because Love is the soul's life. Love is simply creation's greatest joy." ~Hafiz of Persia
In contemplating love, we can ask, what does love have to do with anything? Some would say everything. And, I would agree. Love is the foundation of all things. It is the basis of a healthy, fulfilling existence. It is the very foundation of our being. I am not talking about romantic “hearts and flowers” love, or familial love but a deeper much broader love. This “Love” informs every type of love we can think of, sustaining and transforming it.
When do we first meet love? The moment we look into our mother’s eyes. This is the moment we begin our journey. In the reflective pools of that first encounter, we begin to meet ourselves in translation. We learn to love ourselves in accordance with an interpretation of ourselves through another. It is the beginning of the exhaustive search for true love, the love we imagine we will find in another’s eyes. In that moment, the journey to our Self begins.
Over a lifetime, we experience love in many more forms. We love our families and develop an identity based on what we are exposed to like traditions, religion, role-models, and our environment. As we extend out into the world, we experience love for friends, and eventually we experience romantic love. Most often, all of these facets of love are incomplete because they are informed by what we have been told, taught, or experienced through our early encounters. We are still defining love by how well we satisfy our expectations through another. Sometimes, we suspend any expectations as we try to fulfill someone else’s expectations. The search may lead us through multiple relationships, marriages, outgrown friendships, and loneliness. It is a long road. And for some of us it is longer than others as we are fixed in a material world of driving emotion. Sometimes, it becomes a painful experience as what was once hopeful and promising becomes a perceived dead-end. As sad as these realizations are, they are actually harbingers of our potential. In each seemingly failed experience, is a seed of possibility. Those seeds contain the lessons that propel us to the truth. Eventually, the very process of searching for love, leads us back home to finding our selves.
At the center of our being lies true Love, the Love that is the foundation of everything, yet exists as nothing. As our hearts mature and we realize that Love is not measureable by the wants and dislikes that form our image of love, and realize it cannot live in the same space as fear and anxiety, we begin to allow true Love into our lives. We begin to suspend the illusion of reality that we have tenaciously held on to that is rooted in our history. Once we are able to remove the filter through which we have judged all of our experiences, we make room for Love. We stop “shoulding” on ourselves and others. We stop trying to control and define everyone and everything with labels based in pre-conceived historically limiting notions. We observe. We listen. We reconcile. We forgive. We leave our baggage at cliffs edge and we choose a different road home.
Namaste is a beautiful Sanskrit word that is used as a greeting in India. The breakdown Namah + te literally means “I bow to you”. But this word has a deep spiritual significance that holds Love as its seed. In its deeper meaning, it reveals that the life force, divinity, or light in me recognizes the light in you. That simple word honors the undifferentiated force of divine light that resides within us, the “oneness” of spirit. Each of us is part of a bigger presence. We each carry the light of Love, the Self that connects to God. When we look into another’s eyes and see this light, we see Love. When what we do is generous in spirit and honors ourselves and others, we feel Love. When what we say is kind and considerate toward ourselves and others, we hear Love. When we make these compassionate choices, we touch Love. When all of our choices are rooted in a spirit of non-harming, we are Love.
Naturally, discovering true Love is a process which by its very nature may involve three steps forward and one step back until it is fully revealed. The key to this journey toward Love is paying attention and making conscious choices. Love is limitless. Love is unconditional. Love has no boundaries. Love is conscious and comes from awareness.
And, what is awareness? We’ll leave that for another Inner-Soul contemplation….
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What does trust mean to you?
Fall 2012
"The glue that holds all relationships together -- including the relationship between the leader and the led -- is trust, and trust is based on integrity."
~Brian Tracy
Trust allows for a level of predictability and safety in relationships. It involves exposing a vulnerability to another and expecting that vulnerability to be protected. Trust is as fragile as we are. It operates on different levels and can be offered in small or large doses depending on the nature of the relationship. Our relationships evolve on a continuum, where trust grows as the relationship deepens and the relationship deepens as trust grows. In every relationship, there is a balance between the head (logic) and the heart (intuition) as we move along the continuum. Do you give your heart away without a logical intervention upon a first meeting? Not likely. So, on a continuum of learning about others and ourselves in the context of relationships, we have opportunities to grow trust.
Our deepest relationships grow on a foundation of compassion, non-judgment, caring-honesty, reciprocity, and self-reflection. This is the soil in which trust can deeply root. If every attempt at relating to another is based in compassion, not making judgments founded in our own prejudices, being honest with caring concern versus veiled attacks, giving without conditions but with boundaries, and reflecting on our inner dialogue as a tool for self-understanding, we have a pretty good chance at attracting positive relationships. Sometimes, it takes a lifetime to navigate these relationships as we ponder the question “who are our friends, family, and lovers?”
Before any relationship can truly deepen, this foundation has to be built into our relationship with ourselves. If we have a compassionate, non-judgmental, caring, open, honest, reciprocal, and self-reflective relationship with ourselves, it is easier to attract those types of relationships into our lives. We would be able to treat others as we would want to be treated. And most importantly, it would anchor us in such a way that we would be protected from hardening of the heart. Past relationships would be lessons on the continuum, not devastatingly unforgettable heart hardening events that negatively affect future relationships.
Taking this a step further, we can ask the question, “Who am I?”. In our relationships with ourselves or with another, we forge a soul connection which begins a shift in consciousness. That shift in consciousness is an evolutionary process where we discover that our “self” is actually our “Self”. It is our “Self” that leads with compassion, non-judgment, honesty, reciprocity, and introspection. It is the inner wisdom that whispers through the noise of being. When “Self” led, we go beyond the physical into the metaphysical, which manifests for everyone in different ways. Perhaps it is your God, the Universe, Higher Consciousness, your Center, or whatever "Higher" connection resonates with you. That connection reveals that life is a series of "present moments" which reveal opportunities to observe our choices and make changes that create sustainable relationships. So, ultimately, trust is rooted in a foundation of the qualities (compassion, truth, reciprocity, self-inquiry) and practice of unfolding consciousness.
My good friend Lori shared her thoughts on trust with me. She said that trust is like a glass that holds our relationships with friends, family, and lovers. When trust is broken, it's like that glass shattering into a million pieces, creating a mess to be cleaned up, with no return to its former state. She likened its fragility to that of a symmetrical yet complex snowflake descending from the frigid sky only to melt into oblivion upon its landing. These are beautiful descriptions that reflect great vulnerability. I propose, though, that when navigating life from our center as described above, the glass would remain a receptive vessel that does not have to shatter, and the snowflake would be a beautiful and complex frozen work of art that miraculously transforms into a glistening drop of water upon its landing. It is a shift in consciousness from “cleaning up messes” to “transformative moments”. Kahlil Gibran once said, “The deeper that sorrow carves into your being the more joy you can contain. Is not the cup that holds your wine the very cup that was burned in the potter's oven?” So even in our least favorite moments, space is being created for something amazing like trust and love.
Lastly, is there a connection between trust and love? Do we have to love everyone we trust and trust everyone we love? In a broad sense, we do. If we choose to view everyone compassionately, there is love in that choice. It may not be one of the facets of love with which we are most familiar like romantic love or familial love, but it is a form of love nonetheless. Mother Teresa and Gandhi lived by this love. Actually, it is true Love, but that’s a topic for another Inner-Soul contemplation.
*******************************************************************
Fall 2012
"The glue that holds all relationships together -- including the relationship between the leader and the led -- is trust, and trust is based on integrity."
~Brian Tracy
Trust allows for a level of predictability and safety in relationships. It involves exposing a vulnerability to another and expecting that vulnerability to be protected. Trust is as fragile as we are. It operates on different levels and can be offered in small or large doses depending on the nature of the relationship. Our relationships evolve on a continuum, where trust grows as the relationship deepens and the relationship deepens as trust grows. In every relationship, there is a balance between the head (logic) and the heart (intuition) as we move along the continuum. Do you give your heart away without a logical intervention upon a first meeting? Not likely. So, on a continuum of learning about others and ourselves in the context of relationships, we have opportunities to grow trust.
Our deepest relationships grow on a foundation of compassion, non-judgment, caring-honesty, reciprocity, and self-reflection. This is the soil in which trust can deeply root. If every attempt at relating to another is based in compassion, not making judgments founded in our own prejudices, being honest with caring concern versus veiled attacks, giving without conditions but with boundaries, and reflecting on our inner dialogue as a tool for self-understanding, we have a pretty good chance at attracting positive relationships. Sometimes, it takes a lifetime to navigate these relationships as we ponder the question “who are our friends, family, and lovers?”
Before any relationship can truly deepen, this foundation has to be built into our relationship with ourselves. If we have a compassionate, non-judgmental, caring, open, honest, reciprocal, and self-reflective relationship with ourselves, it is easier to attract those types of relationships into our lives. We would be able to treat others as we would want to be treated. And most importantly, it would anchor us in such a way that we would be protected from hardening of the heart. Past relationships would be lessons on the continuum, not devastatingly unforgettable heart hardening events that negatively affect future relationships.
Taking this a step further, we can ask the question, “Who am I?”. In our relationships with ourselves or with another, we forge a soul connection which begins a shift in consciousness. That shift in consciousness is an evolutionary process where we discover that our “self” is actually our “Self”. It is our “Self” that leads with compassion, non-judgment, honesty, reciprocity, and introspection. It is the inner wisdom that whispers through the noise of being. When “Self” led, we go beyond the physical into the metaphysical, which manifests for everyone in different ways. Perhaps it is your God, the Universe, Higher Consciousness, your Center, or whatever "Higher" connection resonates with you. That connection reveals that life is a series of "present moments" which reveal opportunities to observe our choices and make changes that create sustainable relationships. So, ultimately, trust is rooted in a foundation of the qualities (compassion, truth, reciprocity, self-inquiry) and practice of unfolding consciousness.
My good friend Lori shared her thoughts on trust with me. She said that trust is like a glass that holds our relationships with friends, family, and lovers. When trust is broken, it's like that glass shattering into a million pieces, creating a mess to be cleaned up, with no return to its former state. She likened its fragility to that of a symmetrical yet complex snowflake descending from the frigid sky only to melt into oblivion upon its landing. These are beautiful descriptions that reflect great vulnerability. I propose, though, that when navigating life from our center as described above, the glass would remain a receptive vessel that does not have to shatter, and the snowflake would be a beautiful and complex frozen work of art that miraculously transforms into a glistening drop of water upon its landing. It is a shift in consciousness from “cleaning up messes” to “transformative moments”. Kahlil Gibran once said, “The deeper that sorrow carves into your being the more joy you can contain. Is not the cup that holds your wine the very cup that was burned in the potter's oven?” So even in our least favorite moments, space is being created for something amazing like trust and love.
Lastly, is there a connection between trust and love? Do we have to love everyone we trust and trust everyone we love? In a broad sense, we do. If we choose to view everyone compassionately, there is love in that choice. It may not be one of the facets of love with which we are most familiar like romantic love or familial love, but it is a form of love nonetheless. Mother Teresa and Gandhi lived by this love. Actually, it is true Love, but that’s a topic for another Inner-Soul contemplation.
*******************************************************************
What is your guiding light?
Summer 2012
“May it be a light to you in dark places, when
all other lights go out.”
~J.R.R. Tolkien, The Fellowship of The Ring
In the summer, I have a habit of staying up late. Perhaps it is a bit of nostalgic youthful defiance, nudging my older wisdom out of the way. Whatever the reason, I enjoy staying up to read, write, or watch an old movie in my quiet house on my own terms. As I head to bed after one such late night, I turned off the kitchen light and navigated through the darkness toward the stairs. I could have turned on the light near the stairs but my decision to be efficient and not waste steps back and forth, motivated me to move in darkness. Of course, I bumped into a chair here and piano bench there until I noticed a ray of moonlight creeping in through the skylight which gave me just enough light to find my way with no further disruption. Believe it or not, those few moments propelled me in retrospect, to contemplate life, obstacles, and guiding lights.
I started thinking about how so often in our busy lives we come to a place of darkness. Those insurmountable moments when we feel overwhelmed by life’s circumstances and we are not sure how to navigate. Blindly, we bump into, over, and around obstacles that present themselves when we least expect it. Then, we bemoan our predicament, not seeming to be able to find a way out. We complain, vent, and explain our situation to anyone that will listen yet we resist moving forward. The darkness feels familiar.
So, why does this darkness feel familiar? Even though it presents us with such unhappiness and disappointment, we linger, making the same choices over and over again. I believe it was Einstein that said the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result. So it would seem that staying in the darkness is a product of our self-limiting thoughts and choices. That night in the dark, I could have made the effort to turn on a light and return to close the other but my decision to be “efficient” deterred me from action. Was I really efficiently moving in the intended direction as I bumped into objects in my path? I would say not. But I still chose this way, even though, having done it on many other nights, I experienced the same result. A better idea might have been to re-evaluate my view of the situation and make a different choice. If we all tried that in our most trying moments, we could actually make a difficult situation more manageable. So, recognizing that sometimes we are our own worst enemy is the first step toward establishing sanity.
As we make leaps and bounds into letting go of faulty thinking and embrace choices that support us, we need to pay attention to the moonlight. Despite our selves, that ray of moonlight shows up, that delicate clarity that graces our existence as it invites us to move in a better direction. I couldn’t help but notice the moonlight that night. It had a guiding force as it lit the way. When we are open to receive guidance and blessing, we will find it. It’s there when we are lost, confused, doubtful, and resistant. We only need to open to the possibility in order to experience that guiding light in our lives. Just as we can become empowered by changing our thoughts and behaviors, we can become transformed by surrendering to our guiding light, the light of a higher power. When we find that force and embrace it, it embraces us back. So, here is something to contemplate- what is your guiding light?
*******************************************************************
Summer 2012
“May it be a light to you in dark places, when
all other lights go out.”
~J.R.R. Tolkien, The Fellowship of The Ring
In the summer, I have a habit of staying up late. Perhaps it is a bit of nostalgic youthful defiance, nudging my older wisdom out of the way. Whatever the reason, I enjoy staying up to read, write, or watch an old movie in my quiet house on my own terms. As I head to bed after one such late night, I turned off the kitchen light and navigated through the darkness toward the stairs. I could have turned on the light near the stairs but my decision to be efficient and not waste steps back and forth, motivated me to move in darkness. Of course, I bumped into a chair here and piano bench there until I noticed a ray of moonlight creeping in through the skylight which gave me just enough light to find my way with no further disruption. Believe it or not, those few moments propelled me in retrospect, to contemplate life, obstacles, and guiding lights.
I started thinking about how so often in our busy lives we come to a place of darkness. Those insurmountable moments when we feel overwhelmed by life’s circumstances and we are not sure how to navigate. Blindly, we bump into, over, and around obstacles that present themselves when we least expect it. Then, we bemoan our predicament, not seeming to be able to find a way out. We complain, vent, and explain our situation to anyone that will listen yet we resist moving forward. The darkness feels familiar.
So, why does this darkness feel familiar? Even though it presents us with such unhappiness and disappointment, we linger, making the same choices over and over again. I believe it was Einstein that said the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result. So it would seem that staying in the darkness is a product of our self-limiting thoughts and choices. That night in the dark, I could have made the effort to turn on a light and return to close the other but my decision to be “efficient” deterred me from action. Was I really efficiently moving in the intended direction as I bumped into objects in my path? I would say not. But I still chose this way, even though, having done it on many other nights, I experienced the same result. A better idea might have been to re-evaluate my view of the situation and make a different choice. If we all tried that in our most trying moments, we could actually make a difficult situation more manageable. So, recognizing that sometimes we are our own worst enemy is the first step toward establishing sanity.
As we make leaps and bounds into letting go of faulty thinking and embrace choices that support us, we need to pay attention to the moonlight. Despite our selves, that ray of moonlight shows up, that delicate clarity that graces our existence as it invites us to move in a better direction. I couldn’t help but notice the moonlight that night. It had a guiding force as it lit the way. When we are open to receive guidance and blessing, we will find it. It’s there when we are lost, confused, doubtful, and resistant. We only need to open to the possibility in order to experience that guiding light in our lives. Just as we can become empowered by changing our thoughts and behaviors, we can become transformed by surrendering to our guiding light, the light of a higher power. When we find that force and embrace it, it embraces us back. So, here is something to contemplate- what is your guiding light?
*******************************************************************
It’s all about the journey, isn’t it?
Spring 2012
“Peace starts with the realization that it's a process.
The journey is all there is.” ~MCS
What is life but a journey into the un-known. We start out oblivious to this notion and then at some point we realize there must be a purpose to our lives. The questions raise themselves from some undiscovered space, as the mystery of it all intensifies. What is my destination? What is my purpose? What am I supposed to be doing in my lifetime? How can I leave this world a better place for having been here? At first, we may feel the need to figure out the destination, as we stress about what we are supposed to be doing. Sometimes, this pondering can be down-right terrifying as the weeks turn into months and the months, into years. Wide-eyed wonder can turn into existential angst in the flip of an hourglass. Besides the inevitable death and taxes, what is there?
Imagine that each step on the journey is a piece of an enormous puzzle. Every experience, positive, negative, or neutral, contributes to our understanding of it. At some point, this becomes clear. Eventually, the destination becomes the least important part, transferring the glory to every step along the way. Each step is a complete experience, a developing pattern of imprints on our psyche. The puzzle may require some imagination, patience, and perseverance to put together, but it is worth the work. It is a fascinating accomplishment to grow into our bigger picture because our enormous finished puzzle is actually a piece in an even bigger puzzle. We are enriched by so many others that the whole just keeps inter-connecting and evolving outward.
So, coming back to our piece of the puzzle, how do we figure it out? A good place to start is to discover our Dharma. Dharma? Yes, rhymes with Karma. While Karma is the sum of the effects of our actions, Dharma is our purpose. Whereas Karma is “actions” or “deeds” which play into the entire cycle of cause and effect, Dharma is essentially that which raises us to our highest purpose. The word "dharma" comes from the Sanskrit root dhri, meaning to "uphold" or to "sustain." What we do in our lifetime to serve ourselves and others in the best possible way is our Dharma. It upholds and sustains right action. Self-realization is the highest Dharma. In 21st century terms, Dharma is accessing one’s spiritual purpose as a way of identifying the career/life path that best expresses one’s creativity and service to others.
In our quest, we can ask ourselves the following question: “ If I had no financial worries in the world and had unlimited time on my hands, what talents and abilities would I use to enrich myself and serve others?” Other questions might be, “What unique abilities do I have? What activities bring me into a state of “flow”, where I lose all sense of time? What do I do that brings comfort and healing to others?” Finding our Dharma, helps the journey to unfold effortlessly. It brings clarity and focus to each step and alignment to the bigger picture. And, the bigger picture? Well, that is a topic for another Inner-Soul contemplation…
Spring 2012
“Peace starts with the realization that it's a process.
The journey is all there is.” ~MCS
What is life but a journey into the un-known. We start out oblivious to this notion and then at some point we realize there must be a purpose to our lives. The questions raise themselves from some undiscovered space, as the mystery of it all intensifies. What is my destination? What is my purpose? What am I supposed to be doing in my lifetime? How can I leave this world a better place for having been here? At first, we may feel the need to figure out the destination, as we stress about what we are supposed to be doing. Sometimes, this pondering can be down-right terrifying as the weeks turn into months and the months, into years. Wide-eyed wonder can turn into existential angst in the flip of an hourglass. Besides the inevitable death and taxes, what is there?
Imagine that each step on the journey is a piece of an enormous puzzle. Every experience, positive, negative, or neutral, contributes to our understanding of it. At some point, this becomes clear. Eventually, the destination becomes the least important part, transferring the glory to every step along the way. Each step is a complete experience, a developing pattern of imprints on our psyche. The puzzle may require some imagination, patience, and perseverance to put together, but it is worth the work. It is a fascinating accomplishment to grow into our bigger picture because our enormous finished puzzle is actually a piece in an even bigger puzzle. We are enriched by so many others that the whole just keeps inter-connecting and evolving outward.
So, coming back to our piece of the puzzle, how do we figure it out? A good place to start is to discover our Dharma. Dharma? Yes, rhymes with Karma. While Karma is the sum of the effects of our actions, Dharma is our purpose. Whereas Karma is “actions” or “deeds” which play into the entire cycle of cause and effect, Dharma is essentially that which raises us to our highest purpose. The word "dharma" comes from the Sanskrit root dhri, meaning to "uphold" or to "sustain." What we do in our lifetime to serve ourselves and others in the best possible way is our Dharma. It upholds and sustains right action. Self-realization is the highest Dharma. In 21st century terms, Dharma is accessing one’s spiritual purpose as a way of identifying the career/life path that best expresses one’s creativity and service to others.
In our quest, we can ask ourselves the following question: “ If I had no financial worries in the world and had unlimited time on my hands, what talents and abilities would I use to enrich myself and serve others?” Other questions might be, “What unique abilities do I have? What activities bring me into a state of “flow”, where I lose all sense of time? What do I do that brings comfort and healing to others?” Finding our Dharma, helps the journey to unfold effortlessly. It brings clarity and focus to each step and alignment to the bigger picture. And, the bigger picture? Well, that is a topic for another Inner-Soul contemplation…
